Death of Cupids (The Blood of Cupids MC) Read online

  “I already picked her!” I was getting annoyed. I didn’t understand the point of this conversation.

  “And now you’re becoming defensive. Wow, you two do not trust each other.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  I could feel my heart begin to race. Why was she questioning Grace and my relationship? What gave her the right to do so? Why wouldn’t she stop pestering me?

  “Ryan, I’m not trying to get in the way of your love life, but I’m your mother. I can see things that you don’t.”

  You’re not my mother! I wanted to scream at her, but there was no point. Me acting like a child would not change the last twenty years, and it certainly wouldn’t change the next twenty. I loved Grace and Grace loved me. I didn’t need anyone to tell me anything about us, especially this woman who had no idea what we went through just to be together.

  The long haul though Missouri put my mother to sleep, but woke Grace up.

  “I heard your entire conversation. I wasn’t asleep.”

  Never mind: Grace wasn’t asleep.

  “You see what she did, right? She played us.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Ryan, she purposely got me worked up so that I would explode and she could point out how unhinged I was. She’s trying to pin you against me.”

  “Why would she do that?”

  “I don’t know. I really hope it’s stemming from a twisted way of caring about you. But I don’t know that for sure. We should be careful.”

  “No. You’re just being paranoid.”

  “And it’s already started! Ryan,” she placed her hand on mine, “please promise me that you won’t give up on me. It’s you and me, okay? It’s you and me. She has nothing to do with us.”

  I spent Illinois wrapped up in a vortex of my own mess of insecurities. Grace was right. Maybe I had wanted this woman to come in and be the mother I had been missing for so long. I was still waiting for her excuse. I was still waiting for the apple pie and milkshakes. But facts are facts. She left me and only showed back up when her other family was in trouble. She was no mother of mine.

  But something she said hit home.

  “And now you’re becoming defensive. Wow, you two do not trust each other.”

  We had no reason not to trust each other. With everything we had been through, we only had trust. Why then, we were so defensive about our relationship? Why did we let it bother us when this woman who meant nothing to us came along and tried to rattle our beliefs?

  We had both been raised in a war zone. Grace’s mother was murdered, and her father was the president of the most feared motorcycle club on the east coast. My mother ran out on me, and my father was the president of a smaller club, but still one that felt as though they needed to prove their worth. Fighting was in our blood. We didn’t know how to walk away, as proved by the road trip we were currently taking. We were taught to judge, to not trust, and to always be on alert. We were taught to hate, to battle, and to conquer. Grace and I found love, but now we didn’t know what to do with it. We feared that this gift would be taken away from us.

  I feared that it would be too strong. I feared our love for each other would be the thing that ultimately killed us.

  The highways of Indiana and Ohio blurred in my memory. Grace was kind enough to take over the driving responsibilities so I could sleep… or at least try to sleep amid their bickering.

  “I don’t quite know what you’re doing, but I’m going to figure it out.”

  “I can’t reason over this hold you have on my son, but one day, he’ll see right through it.”

  “You don’t get to be part of his life. You gave up that right too long ago.”

  “Just wait until you have children. You’ll see exactly what I see when I look at you.”

  When we hit Pennsylvania, I breathed a huge sigh of relief; the close quarter fighting was almost over. Grace and I could try to find some normalcy amidst the chaos. I was looking forward to quickly ending this once and for all and moving on with our lives. Little did I know, it was just the beginning; nothing would be ending quickly.

  Grace

  Finally.

  As Ryan had been the solo driver for the better part of twenty-eight straight hours, I let him sleep through the last leg of the trip. That left me with eleven hours of awkward silence intermixed with comments that ranged from completely passive aggressive to full on hateful. Needless to say, my husband’s mother and I were not becoming fast friends.

  “Can I drop you off at your house?”

  “No.”

  Really? That was all she was going to give me? “Okay, I don’t know what that means. Do you want me to drop you off on a corner somewhere?”

  “I want to make sure you go to the clubhouse.”

  Did she really think we had driven for forty hours just to pretend we’d talk to the Cupids? This woman really had no faith in me. From where had this stemmed? Sure, we had our obvious differences, but what right did she have to full on hate me?

  I wasn’t super keen on bringing Anne Marie Carter to my Old City Philadelphia apartment, but she refused to leave our side until we made our presence known at the Blood of Cupids clubhouse. She even argued with me about stopping at the apartment first, but I assured her it would be a quick stop just to make sure everything was in order, and then we’d get right on to finding her children. Then she made some snide comment about how she hoped for the sake of all the children in the world that I’d never become a parent. Well, the joke’s on her!

  It was weird being back. I felt an ache in my stomach as I turned the corner onto the old brick street. I rolled the car into my old parking space and took a deep breath as I looked around. The only remnants of the explosion were a few singed cinder blocks on the wall in front of me. Everything else had been cleaned or replaced. Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option for my memory. I remembered Ryan sneaking up on me. I remembered Aunt Kathryn catching us, and I remembered her face when she saw his tattoo. I remembered giving Ryan my keys so I could chase after her. I remembered the sound of the explosion and the way my chest tightened when I thought I had just sent Ryan to his death. I remembered the sound, the smell, and the heat of the fire. I remembered the feeling of defeat. I remembered that day like it was yesterday. Hell, it was only a few months ago… it might as well have been yesterday.

  “Babe, you okay?” Ryan’s eyes were blinking awake as he stared at me. I didn’t know how long I had been sitting there motionless, but it was safe to say the look on my face might be cause enough for alarm.

  “Yeah, I’m fine… I was just thinking…”

  “I know.” He cut me off. He knew what I was thinking; he didn’t need me to explain myself to him. “Let’s get inside.”

  I smiled and nodded as the three of us stepped out of the car. We walked up the incline of the garage and soon found ourselves in the warming sunlight. I reached the steps, but stopped in front of my apartment building. My feet just didn’t want to move toward the door.

  My father had paid the rent in cash for two years up front. It was his way of promising me that he would allow me to finish grad school without making any excuses to pull me out. What we didn’t know at the time was that me not finishing grad school would be completely my own fault. Still, the apartment was there, and it was mine for another year and a half; Ryan and I had decided it would be silly not to take advantage of that.

  From behind me, I felt Ryan’s arms wrap around my waist and his body push up against mine. I relaxed into his arms as he lowered his mouth to my ear and whispered. “I know this is not the most ideal of circumstances, and I know all of the terrible memories that you must be recalling right now, but in front of everything else, I still see this spot as the place I fell in love with you.” He squeezed me tighter as he continued. “Do you see that bush right there? I hid behind it the first time I saw you. You were so beautiful that it actually embarrassed me.”

  I laughed, picturing him hiding in that
funny, misshapen patch of shrubbery.

  “And that bar,” he turned me to face the other side of the street, “I followed you in there, and you asked me for an IPA. I have never been on a date with a girl who ordered an IPA right out of the gate. I wanted so much to kiss you right then and there.”

  That was advice well taken from my Aunt Kathryn. The first drink you order with a guy should be an IPA. It tells him that you’re easy going enough to drink a beer, but strong enough to handle any “hops” he might throw your way.

  Ryan turned me back around to face my apartment again. I started giggling.

  “And that’s where… Well, I think you know what happened up there.”

  “Could you remind me?” I teased.

  He grabbed my ear between his lips and cooed ever so lightly. “I’ll remind you. I’ll remind you all night.”

  I felt my body warm to his suggestion. I leaned back into him and closed my eyes. He really was amazing. I had been dreading the return. I had been thinking of the night my father showed up, the night I was shot. I was thinking about when I came home and Ryan had ransacked the apartment because he was convinced I was hiding something from him. I was thinking about when Sean rigged my car so it would explode when I unlocked the door.

  But I was thinking only about the terrible things. This place wasn’t so bad. Had it not been for this place, I wouldn’t have fallen in love. I wouldn’t have met my husband. I wouldn’t be carrying his child. I wouldn’t have a lifetime to share with him. With that thought, I stepped forward, fishing my key out of my pocket. The latch clicked, and I pushed in. I was home.

  The apartment looked the same as the day I left. I don’t know what I was expecting, but seeing it in the same condition was quite a relief. Most of the bags were still in the car, but I set the two I was holding down next to the table in my little dining nook. There was a small layer of dust on the table which I swirled my finger through, signing my name. Grace Cassidy. I smiled down at my new signature. I liked the look of it.

  “Are we heading down to the clubhouse now?”

  For a second I had forgotten she was still with us. I wanted to take a break, lie down for a few minutes. I wanted to reenact the first night Ryan and I met. I didn’t want to start with the Sean business just yet.

  But her children were at risk; my needs would have to wait.

  “Let me just grab my bag.”

  “No.” Ryan clasped my hand in his. “You’re not coming.”

  “Ryan, that was the deal.”

  “Absolutely not. Let’s be honest. Sean knows we’re here, you know that’s true. I’m just going to show my face down at the club so that his contact can confirm it, but that doesn’t mean you two have to follow. I want you to stay right here.”

  Anne Marie bellowed. “He said you both need to be at the clubhouse.”

  “And I don’t want you to go down there alone.” I quickly added.

  “Right now I don’t care what Sean wants. You’ll get your children back. I promise you that.”

  Ryan then placed his hands on my shoulders, pulling me aside and out of hearing range from his mother. “Grace, I am not worried about this at all. He’s not going to do anything stupid at the club; too many of those guys would back me up. But I can’t bring her down there. She doesn’t belong among that group; they only know her as the woman who left my father. Can you please stay with her? Make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid?”

  He was right. Plus, I really was exhausted. “Okay.”

  “Still love me?”

  “I do.”

  “Promise me.”

  “I promise you that I still love.” I rose to my toes and kissed his waiting lips, which then opened into a smile.

  “I’ll be back soon.”

  He nodded to his mother and walked out of the door.

  “So Grace, I guess it’s just you and me.”

  Oh good.

  Ryan

  I was all too relieved that Grace didn’t argue with me when I asked her to stay at the apartment. I used my mother as the excuse, but she wasn’t the only one. Even if the guys accepted that we were together, they wouldn’t love me bringing Bowie Brennan’s daughter back to their clubhouse, especially considering the first time she was there, the clubhouse blew up, and then the second, their president was killed. There was only so far loyalty would go.

  Plus, I wasn’t going to the clubhouse. I was going to see Rocky.

  I parked on the street in front of his house. His bike was out front, so I knew he was home, but what I didn’t know was if he was expecting me. I knew he wasn’t Sean’s contact. If there was one thing I was certain of, it was that Rocky would never offer his allegiance to Sean. But that didn’t mean he might not be aware of the circumstances. I really knew nothing of what had happened since Grace and I left Pennsylvania. No one made contact to tell us that Sean was still alive, and no one had mentioned where Danny ended up. No one even called to check up on us. When we left, it seemed we were forgotten. We were forgotten by everyone except Sean, of course.

  “What the hell are you doing here?”

  His voice startled me, as he had snuck up to my car window. “Rock.” I opened the door and offered my hand to his.

  He pulled me into a hug. “Can’t say I thought I’d ever see you again.”

  “I’m with you there. Man, what is going on?”

  “Last I heard, you and Grace had gotten the fuck out of here. So I’ll ask again: what the hell are you doing here?”

  Where should I start: my mother, Sean, the baby, the wedding? It was overwhelming just thinking about it all.

  I smiled and offered a wave to Rocky’s wife, who was peeking her head out of the window. She had one kid standing in front of her, one clinging to her leg, one on her hip, and at about seven months pregnant, she was just starting to really show. Still, she was just as gorgeous as the first day I met her. Funny though, the last time I had seen her, I was filled with jealousy at her and Rocky’s relationship. Looking at her now, I didn’t feel even a hint of envy. I was so happy for them, only hoping that their love for each other was as strong as Grace and mine.

  With four separate waves, the group left the window, allowing me to get back to the task at hand.

  “You guys didn’t get Sean.”

  His face dropped as I said it. “Yeah, I’m sorry, Ry. We scared him, but we didn’t get him. Seeing as though we haven’t heard from him since, I didn’t want to worry you with that.”

  “Well, he found us.”

  “Shit. Are you okay?” His eyes widened with worry. “Where’s Grace? Is she okay?”

  “Yes. She’s fine. We’re both fine. I just wanted to see what you knew.”

  “Man, I know nothing. We haven’t talked about Sean since the incident, and like I said, he hasn’t tried to make contact.”

  Interesting. So Sean was lying low, out of sight. What if he was working with the Shadows? But then wouldn’t he have told us to head to Alexandria? There had to have been a reason he wanted us back at my club. I just wanted to be prepared before I stepped back into the lion’s den.

  “Any new members?”

  “No. Same guys as always.”

  “Anyone acting weird? Anything seem just not right?” I was searching for anything he could give me.

  “Not much has changed in the last six weeks, and everyone seems the same.”

  “Business?”

  “Business is still good.”

  “Who’s running the game?”

  “You’re looking at him.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “You? I thought you hated all that leadership shit.”

  “I also hate blood, but you fuckers still made me sew you up for years.”

  “Good point.”

  It’s a humbling moment when you learn that something you’ve spent your life working at is able to run smoothly without you there. It kind of makes you wonder what you’ve been doing with your time. How many hours had I wasted in a group that woul
dn’t have noticed if I had never been there in the first place?

  “Ryan,” Rock brought me back to the conversation, “what are you doing here?”

  I just blurted it out. “Sean took my mom’s kids.”

  It took a second. It actually took a few seconds for Rocky to realize what I was telling him.

  “Shit.”

  “Yah. Pretty much my reaction too.”

  He knew not to push the subject. I’d talk when I was ready, and right then I wasn’t ready. That was the great thing about Rocky. I could always count on him to just let me figure shit out for myself.

  “So are we going to the club?”

  “Yah. One of the guys is working with Sean. I have to figure out who it is.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Unfortunately.”

  “Then let’s go figure out who the backstabbing bitch is.”

  That was all I needed. He was on my team. Rocky ran inside to let his ol’ lady know where we were heading, but then promptly turned around and raced back to the car. Without another word, he crawled into the passenger seat.

  We were off to find the traitor.