Death of Cupids (The Blood of Cupids MC) Read online

  “I can’t believe she’s here.” I sputtered.

  Grace wrapped her arms around me, letting me know that I was not alone. “I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now Ryan, but unfortunately, I’m going to need you to snap out of it soon. We have a responsibility now, and it requires us to act fast. You know Sean; these kids’ lives are in danger. What do you need me to do?”

  Again with her practicality. She knew exactly what needed to be done and by when it needed to be handled. In that moment, I knew I truly would’ve been lost without her.

  “I’m okay… I’ll be okay… but what about the baby?”

  “What about the baby, Ryan? I got the baby right here,” she playfully patted her belly, “it’s not going anywhere.”

  “But, if we go back… if we fight him again… if he…” I couldn’t say the words, but she knew exactly what I was thinking. That conversation with Sean while I was being tortured in that abandoned warehouse would forever remind me of my inability to protect her.

  “You know I’ve seen her rack, right? While I was slicing my knife down her chest, they were kind of hard to miss. I’ve grabbed them too. I’ve grabbed all of her. Did she tell you that? Did she tell you how I held her tits in my palms and squeezed them so hard? Did she tell you I sucked her tit until she screamed?”

  How could I put her back in that position? How could I allow her to be anywhere near that psychopath? Time and time again, I was reminded of her strength. I was reminded that she truly had the ability to handle any situation that was thrown at her. But now, things were different. She wasn’t only protecting herself; she was protecting my child. I couldn’t put my family in harm’s way. I just couldn’t.

  On the other hand, my family was Grace, and if I knew anything about her, it was that she paved her own way. Once she had settled on something, I wouldn’t be able to hold her back.

  I placed my hand on her chest, lightly rubbing my thumb over the raise of her scar. It killed me to be reminded of him every time I saw her naked body, every time I felt her. It was as if he had cut her for the sole reason of torturing me for the rest of my life. And now I had to let her go back. I had to give him the opportunity to mark her again.

  I looked up at Grace, praying that she had already come up with an alternative to my next statement. I took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “I guess we’re going back home.”

  There was no alternative, no plan, no solution. Grace just nodded.

  We were going home.

  Grace

  I left Ryan alone in the bedroom; he needed some time to gather his bearings, and I wanted time to get some answers out of Anne Marie Carter. Call it jealousy, call it a lack of trust in others, or call it a woman’s intuition, but I really didn’t trust the woman.

  I sauntered down the hall, turning into the kitchen area. The kitchen was small, just the necessary appliances, but it had an island with a good amount of storage underneath and enough space for four barstools. The kitchen opened into a dining area, and just across the way was our living room, where Ryan’s mother sat.

  “Would you like a glass of water, Mrs. Carter?”

  “That’s very kind of you, dear. Thank you.”

  I felt a shudder up my spine when she called me dear. She didn’t even know me; why was she using pet names? I already had a bad taste in my mouth about her, but I tried to convince myself that it was most likely due to her abandonment of the man I loved and not because she was a bad person. I didn’t know the situation. Circumstances might have been out of her control. Just because she left, didn’t make her a bad person. Or did it? I was having a hard time convincing myself that those two things might not be one and the same.

  “Here you are.” I said as I handed her the glass full of ice water.

  “Thank you.” I could tell she wanted to ask a question, so I waited before jumping in with any of mine. I saw her eyes dart down the hallway. She stumbled over her words. “Ryan… is he… okay?”

  A laughed a little. “Would you be okay if your mother, who abandoned you twenty years ago, just randomly showed up one day and asked you to risk your life to rescue siblings who you never knew existed?” It was snarky and a bit rude, yes, but she asked for it with that ridiculous question.

  “No, no. You’re right. This was not the reunion I imagined.”

  Hold on. She imagined a reunion of any kind? When was she planning on that one? I wanted to jump back down her throat, I protected my own, but I would have to save it for another time. There was a more pertinent question on the tip of my tongue. That fight would have to wait for another time.

  “So where is he?”

  “Who?” Her eyes focused on mine.

  “Don’t play coy. Sean is here. Why did he bother sending you?”

  “Why would you think he’s here?”

  I had about enough of that. “Okay lady, any more of these kinds of answers and I’m going to have to assume you’re working with him and the whole kidnapped children thing is a ruse.”

  “He has my children.” She snapped. “I swear.”

  Sean knew I was pregnant, which I had found out today. If he wrote that letter, he would’ve had to be following me around the grocery store, or worse, he followed me home. And he would’ve known putting his little postscript tease in there meant I would have figured out he was close. He wanted me to know. He wanted me to react. Sean Cassidy was hanging around my little town waiting for me to figure this out.

  “Did you read this?” I held the letter up to her.

  “No.”

  “And you don’t know what it says?”

  “I don’t.” For some strange reason, I believed her.

  “It pretty much says he’s here, so choose your words wisely.”

  “He’s…” I watched as she calculated her answer.

  “It’s a waste of time for you to lie to me. I don’t know how much you know, but I have a bit of history with Sean Cassidy. He knows me well enough to appreciate that I would figure this little riddle out. I’m also going to assume he wanted me to figure it out.”

  “I swear to you: he didn’t tell me any of this.” She withered further into the couch.

  I wanted to slap this woman across the face. I knew all about feeling defeated, I knew all about having the things you love most taken away from you, but I also knew all about picking yourself up and not allowing yourself to become a victim. Anne Marie Carter was clearly a victim. Without Ryan and I, there would be no way she would ever see her children again. So why did Sean send her rather than coming himself? I rolled through a few scenarios in my head, trying to pinpoint Sean’s plan of attack. What was his angle now?

  At that point, a strange thought clicked in my head. For so long, I had assumed Sean wouldn’t stop until we were both dead. All his threats insinuated just that. But now, I was beginning to see how wrong I might be. Sean never wanted us dead; he wanted us to suffer. He wanted to laugh while everything was taken away from us.

  Only then would he be happy.

  “So what’s the game plan?” I still was unsure of her role in all of this.

  “Sean said that I need to accompany you two back to Philadelphia, then Ryan is supposed to go to the Cupids clubhouse.”

  “That’s it? That’s all he said?” It seemed a little too humane for Sean Cassidy.

  “Yes. I swear to you: that’s it. Once he gets word that you guys are back, my children can come home.”

  What game was he playing? There was no way he was going to release hostages that easily, especially now that Ryan was aware that those hostages were his half siblings. Angry or hurt as he may be, Ryan still had a good heart. He would never let anything happen to them, and I was certain Sean was planning on exactly that.

  I tallied up the things I had learned either directly from our conversation or that I had deduced from reading between the lines.

  Sean was still alive.

  Sean knew where we lived.

  Sean would give Anne Marie her c
hildren back once he got word of our return.

  “And he specifically said that Ryan had to go to the clubhouse.”

  “Yes, he made sure to stress that point.”

  That could only mean one thing: there was a Cupid that we could not trust.

  Finding him would be our first mission.

  “So that means Sean will not be traveling back with us?”

  A deep voice rang behind me. “Why would Sean be coming with us?” With how engaged I was with Anne Marie and how determined I was to figure out Sean’s next move, I didn’t even hear Ryan come out of the bedroom.

  We both just stared at him, unsure of how to respond.

  “Do I need to ask again?” I could hear the anger in his voice.

  His mother stood up. “Sean brought me here.”

  “Where is he?” Ryan didn’t even look at us, just made a B line toward the door.

  “Ryan, stop.” I followed closely behind.

  “No, Grace.” He turned around to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. “If Sean is here, then I will end this right now.”

  Anne Marie made a small noise before she spoke. “You can’t. Please. If he doesn’t make it back, I don’t get my children; he promised me that.”

  Of course. Sean had ensured his survival by making himself a necessary piece of the puzzle. He was smart; we couldn’t deny that.

  Ryan took his hand off the doorknob and turned to her. “Fine.” His breath calmed him. “Fine. You have my word that Grace and I will go to Philadelphia, as he has asked. You can go home and wait for your children.”

  “I’m going to Philadelphia too.” She quietly countered.

  “No. You’ll just get in the way. We don’t need you.” Ryan was putting his foot down. He obviously wanted no relationship with this woman.

  “But that’s where I live. I never left Philadelphia.”

  I saw the hurt spread across his face. I saw clearly the pain of his entire childhood. His mother had been there the whole time. Twenty years in the same city as him, but never once had she tried to reach out. Never until now: now that her other children were in danger.

  Ryan

  “But that’s where I live. I never left Philadelphia.”

  She might as well had just told me that I was the sole reason she left in the first place, that she took one look at me and thought I could do better. When Grace had left me alone with my thoughts in our bedroom, I truly believed I was going to lose my mind. After all this time, was she really here? This time, would she stay? Even after I had given up hope that my mother would return, I never stopped imagining our reunion.

  I imagined running into her at my track meet in middle school. She was riddled with guilt for leaving and admitted that she would sneak into all my sporting events just to watch me win. I imagined seeing her at the movies where my girlfriend, Jessica, and I would go every Friday night when we were eleven just to sit in the last row and make out. She would pull me aside, point her finger in my face, and tell me that was no way to treat a lady. Then I’d roll my eyes as I was given the birds and the bees talk. I imagined looking up in the stands at graduation and seeing her smiling face among the crowd. She was so proud of me and so disappointed in herself for missing so many years with her son. We’d then sneak off to a diner and catch up over milkshakes and apple pie. By the end of the night, it would be as though she had never left.

  But she did leave. And she never came back. Pops was at all my track meets, cheering me on and taking me out for celebratory sundaes afterwards. Pops was the one who warned me that girls like Jessica were fun in high school, but there was something so much better out there, and I should never stop looking for her. Pops taught me about sex, but he also taught me about love. Pops was the one sitting in the stands at graduation and the one who then took me out for milkshakes and apple pie while we stared in awe at my diploma. Pops had always been there for me, and now, with my long lost mother sitting in my living room, I realized how much I really missed him. I wished it were he sitting in my living room instead of this woman I barely even recognized. I had just found out I was going to be a father. I wanted Pops to take me out to celebrate.

  I didn’t want anything to do with her.

  “I hadn’t realized you stayed in Philadelphia. My apologies.”

  She stared at me, and I could see my own hurt in her eyes. “Grace, would you mind giving Ryan and I a few minutes alone?”

  “No.” I stopped her. I didn’t want Grace to go anywhere. “Whatever you have to say to me, you can say to Grace.

  Grace pulled my hand into hers and squeezed. “It’s okay, Ryan, I’m actually feeling a little woozy. I’m going to take a shower. You guys can… catch up.” She rose to her tiptoes, kissed my cheek, and paused at my ear. Before nodding at my mother and turning away, she whispered, “I’m only a few feet down the hall.”

  I just stared at her, Anne Marie Carter, my mother. I didn’t know this woman. I didn’t want to know this woman. I didn’t want this woman to know me.

  “So you’re living with Grace Brennan. I can’t tell you I saw that one coming.” She finally said as we heard the water begin to run from the shower. “I don’t know if anyone told you—”

  “I know the whole story.” I cut her off.

  Of course I knew the whole story. The tragic tale had been following me around since September. The last time Anne Marie had seen me, Pops was planning on running away with the wife of a rival motorcycle club member, the woman he had fallen in love with, Grace’s mother: Emily Brennan. As their love was forbidden, they hid it from the world, communicating mostly through letters. They tried to call it off, but their love was too strong, and they always seemed to find a way back to each other. After years of this illicit affair, after they couldn’t handle the separation any longer, they finally decided to run away together. That’s when mom left.

  That was also when Emily Brennan was brutally murdered.

  After that night, the rivalry between the clubs escalated exponentially. For twenty years, the Blood of Cupids and the Walking Shadows were at each other’s throats. Verbal treaties were ignored, alliances with other clubs were made, and everyone always seemed to be on the verge of a full on war. That’s when Grace and I met. That’s when Grace and I fell in love.

  That’s when Grace and I risked everything and lost everything. Well, we lost almost everything.

  “I have no right to ask you how you and Grace,” she held her breath, “came to be.”

  “You don’t.”

  She wasn’t looking at me. “And I’m sorry about your father. I know how close you two were.”

  Of course we were fucking close. You left us! I wanted to scream at her. Instead, I reeled it in and politely replied. “Thank you.”

  “And with all my heart, I am sorry that Sean has sunk his teeth into you. I always feared that he would one day take all his aggression out on you.”

  “Yeah, well it’s not just me.” I started. “He holds a pretty strong grudge against Grace too.”

  “What do you mean?” For the first time since Grace had left the room, she looked up at me, making eye contact. She seemed interested. She wanted me to keep talking, and for some reason, I wanted to keep talking. A strange sensation filled my chest, and I was compelled to continue telling her about Sean.

  “None of this started until I began seeing Grace. Well…” I stuttered, “Until he found out I was seeing Grace.”

  “How’d that happen?”

  I sat on the edge of the couch, recalling it all. “Grace had come to a match of mine to warn me that her father was planning some sort of attack, and in the process ended up being shot in the arm. Sean and Pops were with me when I found her, and Pops somehow recognized her. The way he looked at her… you know,” my eyes darted to hers, “I had never seen him look at anyone that way.”

  It was true. And until that moment, I hadn’t really thought about it. The night Grace was shot was very stressful for me. I had been the one to stage the plan
of attack, but when I saw Grace among the crowd at the boxing match, I panicked. I couldn’t let her be there. I couldn’t risk something happening to her. In my panic, I commanded her to leave, which was what ultimately got her shot. It wasn’t until I had found her lying in the field that I finally learned her last name. That was the night when I realized I had fallen for my enemy.

  But Pops, he changed that night too. While he had always been a supportive and mostly caring father, I knew he was broken. I had always assumed it was due to my mother leaving, because it had happened at the same time. Every smile was washed with grief; every laugh was stunted with pain. Every word he uttered allowed you to know he had lost something very important to him and he would never get it back: Until he saw Grace.

  While sitting in the hospital, waiting to hear of her prognosis, I saw something I hadn’t seen from my father in so very long: hope.

  “It’s impossible that she’s not a part of this.”

  “She can’t be.”

  “How well can you know someone after a week?”

  “Pops. You know me. You know I don’t get involved. So trust that I’m right about this.”

  “Okay, say you are right about her… Are you willing to be the reason she winds up dead?”